Posts Tagged ‘love’

Men and women different loving styles are evolution at work. The one difference between men and women is exposed during and after the sex act.

Research

In a new study entitled “Sex Differences in Post-Coital Behaviors in Long –and-Short Term Mating An Evolutionary Perspective,” which will be published in The Journal of Sex Research the different loving styles of men and women showed up.

“The vast Majority of the research on the evolutionary psychology of human reproduction focuses on what’s before and leading up to sexual intercourse,” says Susan Hughes, associate professor of psychology at Albright College in Reading, Pa and the author of the study. “But reproductive strategies don’t end with intercourse; they may influence specific behaviors directly following sex.”

Facts exposed

The message is most people need a manual on how the opposite sex reacts to being close to another human. From an evolutionary stand point, each sex acts according to the programming installed. A woman wants to share and be shown care, men want to reward themselves with a smoke, drink, or continuing sexual activity.

Women place a greater importance on intimacy and bonding with their partner at the time. This means that intimate talking, kissing, cuddling and caressing are important activities. There are reasons for these differences.

Women want to secure the relationship. Women also will use intimate talking and discussing the relationship before intercourse to insure commitment and investment from her partner.

Men have a different prospective when engaging in the sex act. They are there from an evolutionary standpoint to spread the seed to ensure that the species continues.

The Pickle Jar Theory

The man’s job is to impregnate a female; the female’s job is to get a mate to help raise the offspring. The men want the women to crave pickles in other words become pregnant, and the women wants the man to be around to bring the pickles.

We know most men aren’t looking to impregnate a female and take on all the responsibility. However, in the distant past the man may have been long gone from the camp grounds when the female knew something was up.

It is important to be aware of the differences so you can realistically manage your priorities. None of the unexpected actions will baffle you. While a man may want to take flight and you may want to chat and engage him, you do not have to be sticky or needed to get results.

The most important thing for women is to not be timid, carefully prepare for your encounter by engaging in open dialog. Men like to move on, but they also need to be close and bond with another person.

Almost everyone wants to have great sex. Yet, unless you are young and in good shape this may not be the case. Sex is an endurance sport in many ways. It is a mix of the physical, mental, and spiritual.

Definition of Great Sex

The definition of great sex will be different for everyone. Some people include romance, love, and lust. What dominates the conversation for one person will just be background sound to another.

For some a great sexual encounter is in the technique and sensations. For another it is the length of the session. But, the one prevailing perspective is no matter how you define it without stamina, energy, technique, and a powerful experience you will not wake up the next day fully satisfied.

What increase your chances for a great sexual encounter are the strength of the erection and the orgasmic ability of both parties. All sex is a product of energy.

Age

The sexual vigor of men in their teens and early to late forties starts to dwindle. For long lasting sexual ability, there are some great exercises that would bring renewed function.

They say sex is all in your mind. However, the machine that makes it happen is your body. Mental sex may be fantasy fun, but for real results you need to be able to carry it out. The link between libido and fitness is real.

Age doesn’t slow you down as much as lack of physical activity. Exercise helps prepare your body for better sexual performance. Not only will exercise help increase your sexual performance it also builds cardiovascular and physical fitness.

Types of Exercise for Men

Aerobic exercise such as jogging, swimming, cycling, or even stair-climbing helps with libido and performance. Aerobic exercise should be any where from 20 to 30 minutes at a time three times a week.

Weights will develop chest muscles which in tern support your arms and shoulder muscles. Bench presses are good for this.

Working your abdominals keep the strength up for endurance. Crunches are what work and it is recommended that you start with three sets of 10 reps, and work up from there. This is the formula to strengthen and lengthen under the sheet action.

Push-ups are a good work out for muscles that are essential for good sex. Shoulders as well as arm strength are important.

Types of Exercise for Women

The types of exercise for women should be ones that boost endurance, and build leg muscles. For women exercise present integrated solutions. One it supports backside muscles and at the same time helps with image.

This makes one feel sexier when one looks good. Women want to build both self esteem, while optimizing there flexibility, and strength. Aerobic exercise helps with endurance and performance.

Any pelvic exercise that offers support for that region will help. Dexterity comes from lean muscle, and virtually all tissues, and joints. To demonstrate the energy and vitality it means depending on the extrinsic strength of youthful vigor. Besides improved visual aesthetics the basic molecular and physiological components are in place.

Men and women

For both men and women there is some confusion about health and sex. Rejuvenating sleep helps the body and enhances both performance and allows the body to recover faster. Great sex like anything good is interwoven and dependent on many components. Retaining the ability for a hot sex life means the biological properties that help generate and unleash the wonderful feelings remain in good working order. Modern living with all its inherent stresses depletes the internal stores of energy and nutrients.

People are looking for natural ways to have the ultimate experience, without prescriptions. Temporary products can’t replace the connection between health and sex. Along with phytonutrients, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, amino acids and essential fatty acids comes an enhanced sex life.

Both women and men are many times looking for love in all the wrong places. For women it is because they idolize love, thinking it is a romantic experience that will answer all their fantasies.  The knight in shining amour who will sweep them off their feet is a known one. In modern times this is seen in romantic gestures, such as the right gifts, words, and deeds. Women want a man that knows his partners needs and wants without having to utter a word. Anyone, in a relationship knows this is a loosing proposition.

The place to look for love for women is in the deeds. Men are doers, action is what they understand. They give by doing, building something by hand, lifting heavy objects for you, or going to work. They are neither mind readers, nor poetry writers. Of course there are exceptions to the rule. Good luck finding them.

Men on the other hand have their fantasy women. They are visual. What they really want is appreciation for their efforts, just like everyone else. Men like independent women it lessens their burden. In today’s world supporting someone on one salary is quite a job. The days of the helpless damsel in distress are over. It is partner time.

Realistic expectations will be having you look for love in the right places.

Looking for a sex lube to spice up a mattress session is a centric focus for many couples. There are many paths to the purchase, each brand offers something. The mass marketing of this product has taken it out of the specialized brown wrapper retailer’s hands.

There is substantial opportunity to market this product, since consumers want greater access to a wide array of lubes. The favorite seems to be a water based product. Also, the greener the better, natural products have an edge. This is because the wetter the better, means that with constant use safety is an issue.  You don’t want to be taking a chemical bath every time you apply it.

Water base is safe to use with condoms (oil and petroleum based lubes can cause latex to deteriorate). It is easy to wash off and you aren’t at a greater risk of getting an infection from lingering bacteria. Water based lubes may need to be re-applied if the session keeps going. Integrating lube application into the act brings pleasure, and we’re talking about gearing up for some aqua dynamic sex.

A sex lube not only brings pleasure, but it got you covered. It is applied externally and internally at the points of entrance. There is a growing market for products that offer pleasure with protection. What is shaping this demand is the fact that some lubes offer a special feature that can offer protection from some STD’s. The other reason is birth control pills, menopause, stress, and other medications can cause vaginal dryness.

A good sex lube is an investment in the quality of the sex, and the health of the individual. The best lubes are carrageen and water based. One that has been tested and recommended the most is Devine 9, available online and in some of the leading drug stores.

Sex is the one place where the benefits of an imagination are needed. If ever there was a place a fantasy could be played out it is between the headboard and footboard. This is the place not only to express your desire, but where there are very few limits to imagination.

There are dual players, and each wants to fulfill their needs. At the same time each wants to feel sexier. For this to happen we need to heighten our partner’s pleasure.  It is a place to play it by ear, and also use the tried and true. It doesn’t have to be boring, and by adding some play we enhance the experience.

A new avenue of pleasure enhances the dynamics of the relationship. When couples have a long-established relationship there is an increased need for creating and presenting new ideas. There are serendipitous benefits from using your imagination.

Novelty can get lost when complacency takes hold. Many couples become comfortable with the familiar. Romance can take a nose dive and the sex can become routine. From taking place the same time, in the same location, and in the same way it looses its excitement. Often time it is a hurried exchange done before breakfast, or at night.

There is growing power in new ideas, and new directions. You know what pumps you up, and it may surprise you to find that these exciting additions start a whole new way to show love. Fantasy is a thing you do alone, and yet wish a partner would fulfill it.

Sex helps couples connect, and celebrate each others individuality. Immersing yourself in your secret fantasies has a one dimensional quality unless you enlighten your partner. Heating up the relationship is most couple’s priority. Fantasy land lives in ones imagination, it opens up a world of sweet possibilities. An erotic imagination can bring more pleasure to an already pleasurable experience.

The truth is all lovemaking comes down to the naked truth. Of course you can keep the room dark, or do a quickie leaving some things on.

However, for the vast majority of times you are in the buff. This is what makes this such a revealing experience. Imagination just went out the door, it is the real deal. All other connections are based on perceptions, which you can control to some extent.

In the business world, social world we can express who we are by the way we present ourselves in outward ways. In the bedroom we can present ourselves by passion, words, and actions.

When we are about to hit the sack there isn’t time to workout, drop a few pounds, or build some muscle. The point is we really don’t need to reinvent, redesign our body to become more attractive for the moment.

Most everyone would like to be trimmer, but this is the place for performance. The truth is anyone wanting to get it on, isn’t focused on much more than that fact. When someone is going to be intimate with you they already have an idea of what they are getting into. On some level they elevated and visualized you in positive terms. Lovemaking is about feelings and delivery with the person at hand.

Your beauty products are on the inside; in this case it is overriding the packaging. You were selected for many values you have and how you mesh with your partner.

Your body dispenses pleasure in more ways than just visual. Without inhibitions about how you look naked you can reach new heights in giving and receiving pleasure.

Improving your loving isn’t a guessing game. Men and women need different strokes. Good sex is a learned art, and it takes work. Men visualize, need it now, and get emotional intimacy with it.

Women on the other hand are looking for quality, not quantity. What makes sex a page-turner for women is in the pre-performance work. What enhances sex for women is in the lead in time. While men are ready, set, go people, women need more time.

Women’s Basic Needs

For women play, conversation, and romance is much more titillating than simply a go at it. Women appreciate support. While a man may be turned on by a women dressed in only an apron, a women gets more out of seeing a man doing some chores that help her.

The challenge for both women and men is the issue of both being the receiver and the giver is a sexual relationship. Mastering the art of giving and receiving is one of the issues that emerge in this type of intimacy.

Sex is a manifestation of a harmonic relationship. The ingredients of a good relationship are different for men and women. Women are conscious of sincerity, words spoken, desire, and the nurturing aspect of sex.

Men’s Basic Needs

Men are performance driven. What determines being fulfilled is more solidly based on the physical. They are capable of sabotaging their attempts at getting some loving. The secret of attaining a loving relationship means knowing what the women needs.

Since this is a hard read for men and they may or may not be intuitive lovers, they have a challenge. All techniques for them begin on the physical level, which in turn helps them connect emotionally. By being specific and not mincing words women can help a man connect on all levels.

Men need the physical to get to the emotional.  From getting dates, to getting into bed men need to be fulfilled just like women. The difference is for men the journey is physical first, and than emotional.

The concern for men is sex encompasses more than is realize. They may focus on making love as a physical endeavor, but a man depends on it for both physical and emotional gratification. .

Basics

Men and women win when they pleasure each other on a regular basis. The bottom line doesn’t change; this is not about ordering and receiving, but about giving and receiving.

The new state of affairs isn’t the state of the union. It is the state of your personal union, which is the agenda of the day. This is the new scenario; you are together on a part time basis. He has his place, and you have a house full of roommates.

Both of you travel, and are looking for practical solutions for some hot alone time. Your core concern is when will your roommates be taking off. His is when can you spend time at his abode, even though it is miles away from campus or your new job.

The consensus is that this type of living conditions or cohabiting is on the rise. Maintaining a private independent status while exploring life together with a significant other is coming of age, this may warrant a second living facility for both. This new professional market sometimes makes sustainable living together arrangements a juggling act.

Landlords may find an untapped market here; this is a sustainable trend that is buoyed by the professional job market. Serial monogamy seems to be the inspiration behind this new trend. This generation isn’t mainstreaming it and is exploring unique living arrangements.

This is a uniquely enlightened generation who think outside both the casual sex scene and the traditional roles. They chose a whole new adventure in living close to their true natures, while knowing togetherness is important.

Making the love connection is really the name of the dating game. It’s a hands on endeavor to find that special someone. It is more than a date; it is looking ahead for someone to make a difference in your life.

Ways to Make the Connection

There isn’t one formula for success.  There are a few ways that have shown promising results. The thrill of discovery never gets old, innovative ways to finding a good connection abound.  Guys have the pick-up lines, and that pitch usually falls flat.

Women have more subtle ways to show they are interested. Women use appearance to catch someone’s eye. Since men are visual this works. But, appearance goes so far in making a real connection.

A women can be dressed the part, but it’s only the first impression. The physical attraction has to be followed by a mental attraction.

The Way Men Connect

Men are more likely to think about sex, women may be looking for a long term connection.

There was a core finding in a study published in a past issue of Psychology of women Quarterly.  What was found was that men rated their female partner as more sexual than women rated their male partner.

This was especially true if they found her physically attractive. Yes, men did notice the women’s friendly and agreeable personality, but that didn’t affect their ratings of her sexiness. Women on the other hand gave the male high sexual rating, but also gave him high ratings for extroversion, and agreeableness.

The Way Women Connect

The way women connect is somewhat different. Women are nesters, and that is a major difference. Magnetism is always a draw, however women asses a man on many levels.

The path to a women’s heart is center’s around what they regard as important. They are impressed by many things, but aren’t as appearance centered. They depend on their instincts

Heads in the Clouds

Many women and men visualize a relationship before it morphs into one. This isn’t a safe or sound place to be.

This is a place where your vision is clouded, and it makes it hard to take in the whole picture. Many people are in love with love. These individuals don’t want anything to spoil the mood. Even if the match is anything but perfect, the inventory still is being viewed from rose colored glasses.

This is what makes a person stick around too long. The life could be sucked out of a relationship, yet one of the parties can’t let go.

The Winning Way

The winning way to find that special connection is to be conscious of what you want in a partner. Also, be conscious of what you need in a partner. The ultimate judge of what will inspire you to continue exploring the relationship is very personal.

Letting go of unrealistic expectations and becoming flexible opens the door to possibilities. There are fantastic finds that may not fit your profile. Adapting to changing expectations, may make a difference in your life. It may be part of growing up and realizing that what you have been looking for is really contentment and a way to share joy.