Posts Tagged ‘intimacy’

Men and women different loving styles are evolution at work. The one difference between men and women is exposed during and after the sex act.

Research

In a new study entitled “Sex Differences in Post-Coital Behaviors in Long –and-Short Term Mating An Evolutionary Perspective,” which will be published in The Journal of Sex Research the different loving styles of men and women showed up.

“The vast Majority of the research on the evolutionary psychology of human reproduction focuses on what’s before and leading up to sexual intercourse,” says Susan Hughes, associate professor of psychology at Albright College in Reading, Pa and the author of the study. “But reproductive strategies don’t end with intercourse; they may influence specific behaviors directly following sex.”

Facts exposed

The message is most people need a manual on how the opposite sex reacts to being close to another human. From an evolutionary stand point, each sex acts according to the programming installed. A woman wants to share and be shown care, men want to reward themselves with a smoke, drink, or continuing sexual activity.

Women place a greater importance on intimacy and bonding with their partner at the time. This means that intimate talking, kissing, cuddling and caressing are important activities. There are reasons for these differences.

Women want to secure the relationship. Women also will use intimate talking and discussing the relationship before intercourse to insure commitment and investment from her partner.

Men have a different prospective when engaging in the sex act. They are there from an evolutionary standpoint to spread the seed to ensure that the species continues.

The Pickle Jar Theory

The man’s job is to impregnate a female; the female’s job is to get a mate to help raise the offspring. The men want the women to crave pickles in other words become pregnant, and the women wants the man to be around to bring the pickles.

We know most men aren’t looking to impregnate a female and take on all the responsibility. However, in the distant past the man may have been long gone from the camp grounds when the female knew something was up.

It is important to be aware of the differences so you can realistically manage your priorities. None of the unexpected actions will baffle you. While a man may want to take flight and you may want to chat and engage him, you do not have to be sticky or needed to get results.

The most important thing for women is to not be timid, carefully prepare for your encounter by engaging in open dialog. Men like to move on, but they also need to be close and bond with another person.

Almost everyone wants to have great sex. Yet, unless you are young and in good shape this may not be the case. Sex is an endurance sport in many ways. It is a mix of the physical, mental, and spiritual.

Definition of Great Sex

The definition of great sex will be different for everyone. Some people include romance, love, and lust. What dominates the conversation for one person will just be background sound to another.

For some a great sexual encounter is in the technique and sensations. For another it is the length of the session. But, the one prevailing perspective is no matter how you define it without stamina, energy, technique, and a powerful experience you will not wake up the next day fully satisfied.

What increase your chances for a great sexual encounter are the strength of the erection and the orgasmic ability of both parties. All sex is a product of energy.

Age

The sexual vigor of men in their teens and early to late forties starts to dwindle. For long lasting sexual ability, there are some great exercises that would bring renewed function.

They say sex is all in your mind. However, the machine that makes it happen is your body. Mental sex may be fantasy fun, but for real results you need to be able to carry it out. The link between libido and fitness is real.

Age doesn’t slow you down as much as lack of physical activity. Exercise helps prepare your body for better sexual performance. Not only will exercise help increase your sexual performance it also builds cardiovascular and physical fitness.

Types of Exercise for Men

Aerobic exercise such as jogging, swimming, cycling, or even stair-climbing helps with libido and performance. Aerobic exercise should be any where from 20 to 30 minutes at a time three times a week.

Weights will develop chest muscles which in tern support your arms and shoulder muscles. Bench presses are good for this.

Working your abdominals keep the strength up for endurance. Crunches are what work and it is recommended that you start with three sets of 10 reps, and work up from there. This is the formula to strengthen and lengthen under the sheet action.

Push-ups are a good work out for muscles that are essential for good sex. Shoulders as well as arm strength are important.

Types of Exercise for Women

The types of exercise for women should be ones that boost endurance, and build leg muscles. For women exercise present integrated solutions. One it supports backside muscles and at the same time helps with image.

This makes one feel sexier when one looks good. Women want to build both self esteem, while optimizing there flexibility, and strength. Aerobic exercise helps with endurance and performance.

Any pelvic exercise that offers support for that region will help. Dexterity comes from lean muscle, and virtually all tissues, and joints. To demonstrate the energy and vitality it means depending on the extrinsic strength of youthful vigor. Besides improved visual aesthetics the basic molecular and physiological components are in place.

Men and women

For both men and women there is some confusion about health and sex. Rejuvenating sleep helps the body and enhances both performance and allows the body to recover faster. Great sex like anything good is interwoven and dependent on many components. Retaining the ability for a hot sex life means the biological properties that help generate and unleash the wonderful feelings remain in good working order. Modern living with all its inherent stresses depletes the internal stores of energy and nutrients.

People are looking for natural ways to have the ultimate experience, without prescriptions. Temporary products can’t replace the connection between health and sex. Along with phytonutrients, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, amino acids and essential fatty acids comes an enhanced sex life.

A sexual lubricant delivers higher rates of pleasurable and satisfying sex.

Sexual lubricants are something you can trust to transform your experience and at the same time offer protection from sexually transmitted diseases.

An Indiana University study involving 2,453 women ages 18 to 68 found that lubricate use during sexual activity alone or with a partner contributed to higher ratings of pleasurable and satisfying sex.
Personal lubricants have long been recommended to women to improve the comfort of sexual intercourse and to reduce the risk of vaginal tearing, yet strikingly little available data is available on women’s use of lubricants or associated vaginal symptoms.

The study, conducted by Debby Herbenick, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at IU’s School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation, involved women who used one of six different water- or silicone-based lubricants.

The study participants strongly endorsed the notion that lubricant use improved the sexual experience; in more than 70 percent of sexual encounters, women indicated that using lubricants made sex feel very pleasurable and more comfortable (65.5 percent).

Harness the power of lubricants when searching for more pleasure.  Sex Lubes seem to optimize both the experience and reaction to the encounter. Imagine that to have the most powerful sexual experience you need the right tools. It now seems that sexual lubricants should be thought of first when looking to have a performance based experience.

This is the one option that is well worth the costs. Waiting to use a lubricant such as Devine 9 is missing an opportunity to escape the ordinary and dip into the extrodiary.

I guess that would sum up what some people expect from sex. Ignited passions, that light up the night. These are the things movies are made of. This isn’t always the case with mere mortals. People perform the act stoned, drunk, and while exhausted.

Now it seems that there are times, at the beginning of a relationship when this seems to be the norm. Even in the films fill of passionate embraces, these are usually people who are first discovering their lust for each other. Very few films follow the couple for at least ten years.

It takes effort to keep the match lit, let alone send off sparks until the wee hours of the morning. What most people are looking for at this stage is to connect, enjoy, and get it on. It is still good, but the night sky isn’t usually going to light up.

Then what makes sex so good past the firework stage? The need for it still exists; the attraction is still there, the closeness is probably even better than at the beginning. The expectations are there, but there is some reality that is in place. The sparks are already in place, igniting them a little work.

Sex in marriage somehow gets kudos and a bad rap at the same time. Since this is the place to legally get it on, it should inspire the most creative sex. Marriage is a place where many things are taken for granted. One of them is sex. Forbidden things seem to elicit more excitement. That is why making it while in flight in a cramped lavatory, which just barely holds one person seems exciting.

The need for change seems to be a human one. Cramped spaces seem good to people like closets, janitor supply rooms, under tables, and on tables. Human mating is quite a complicated operation at times. Simple isn’t quite the term for sex. The fact that the mundane doesn’t hold the excitement of something risky that gets our adrenaline flowing, shouldn’t mean that marital sex is anything less than fulfilling.

If fact the truth is that people in a monogamous relationship should have some of the best sex. Excitement is the word that comes to mind when thinking about sex. In marriage you should be excited about having a special person that shares so much with you that intimacy is the icing on the cake.

A good marriage is the best background for sex. When the caring element is in place it should bring general enjoyment to both parties.

It isn’t marriage that kills sex; it is the abandonment of the relationship. Instead of taking sex to a new level it is abandoned as a priority. The quest for a partner played off, now we perilously start taking our partner for granted.

Sex in marriage is as good as the value that we place on our partner. Marriage is the place for new experiences in and out of bed. Marriage is enticing because it offers us a partner to explore, and a step-by-step we learn how to please each other.

Casual sex is like a junk food diet. It tastes good for awhile, but it leaves you empty. A junk food diet doesn’t nourish you and in the long run depletes your stores of nutrients.

Casual sex is akin to a junk food diet in that it is something you can get away with easier when you are young. This holds true for males as well as females. Sex feeds the soul, where food feeds the body. If you search many different cultures in remote corners of the world sex isn’t as casual as it seems.

They recognize that sex is something to celebrate, but also something that bonds male and female together. Survival depends on the binding of the male and female elements to foster a cohesive group. From a western standpoint it looks like they just do what they want. Sex isn’t as open ended as it seems the young get the freedom to explore in many less advanced societies. However, the bonding that comes about in time is taken seriously according to their social standards.

In America as well as some other industrialized societies, it seems that there are lots of taboos in place that try to limit sexual freedom. The one thing we have is plenty of sexual freedom. The one thing we don’t have is a sense of the connection sex has to our very being.

Sex should be a bonding experience on more levels than just physical. This is something that isn’t going to resonate with young people as well, because the drive is so strong. Exploring is natural. When we teach sex we are usually focused on the worry list, from STDs to pregnancy concerns. As real as these are we get stuck on hold when we look for alternate approaches.

The demystifying of sex means that the right questions are needed. Anyone with foresight knows that sex leads and is led by a need for closeness, acceptance, feeling valued, and feeling connected to someone. Sex isn’t confined to marriage, but it is should be confined to our sense of self worth, intimacy and our relevance for the other person.

Sex gets a shafting by being used as just a release of tension, when it becomes more everyone gains from it. Sex is definitely a union of two people, and that is where you thrive. Healthy sex is when all the elements come into play.

Improving your loving isn’t a guessing game. Men and women need different strokes. Good sex is a learned art, and it takes work. Men visualize, need it now, and get emotional intimacy with it.

Women on the other hand are looking for quality, not quantity. What makes sex a page-turner for women is in the pre-performance work. What enhances sex for women is in the lead in time. While men are ready, set, go people, women need more time.

Women’s Basic Needs

For women play, conversation, and romance is much more titillating than simply a go at it. Women appreciate support. While a man may be turned on by a women dressed in only an apron, a women gets more out of seeing a man doing some chores that help her.

The challenge for both women and men is the issue of both being the receiver and the giver is a sexual relationship. Mastering the art of giving and receiving is one of the issues that emerge in this type of intimacy.

Sex is a manifestation of a harmonic relationship. The ingredients of a good relationship are different for men and women. Women are conscious of sincerity, words spoken, desire, and the nurturing aspect of sex.

Men’s Basic Needs

Men are performance driven. What determines being fulfilled is more solidly based on the physical. They are capable of sabotaging their attempts at getting some loving. The secret of attaining a loving relationship means knowing what the women needs.

Since this is a hard read for men and they may or may not be intuitive lovers, they have a challenge. All techniques for them begin on the physical level, which in turn helps them connect emotionally. By being specific and not mincing words women can help a man connect on all levels.

Men need the physical to get to the emotional.  From getting dates, to getting into bed men need to be fulfilled just like women. The difference is for men the journey is physical first, and than emotional.

The concern for men is sex encompasses more than is realize. They may focus on making love as a physical endeavor, but a man depends on it for both physical and emotional gratification. .

Basics

Men and women win when they pleasure each other on a regular basis. The bottom line doesn’t change; this is not about ordering and receiving, but about giving and receiving.